On 15th August 2018, I eagerly went to the IYC Center in Adyar, Chennai. A boy welcomed me with his hands folded saying "Namaskaram Akka" and there it all began!
As I entered the hall, I felt mesmerized with the ambience and the flute music at the background was so soothing. I bowed down to Sadhguru and I expressed in my mind saying that I am willing to change myself for good. I never felt any feelings of gratitude or surrenderness at all. With my heads high, it was like "Hi Sadhuru, I am ok to listen to you and learn Shambhavi". I didnt like my own attitude but thats how it was.
Though the classes were just for 3 hours for 7 days, the mind engagement was 24x7. We were given homework which was continuous thing and also effortless. The whole week went on completely focused. and it was the beginning of change.
Shambhavi Manamudra:
On 19th , we were initiated into Shambhavi mahamudra. The first time I did, I felt very high energy running over my head and chest and I couldnot lift my upper body. I wanted to sit down with my upper body lying down on the floor. Each one seemed to have had different experiences, some of them didnt feel anything. I was frantically seeking Sadhguru for his grace and I felt like I received it.
From that day, we were told to practice the Shambhavi twice a day for 40 days. I did 50 days without missing a single time. We had to practice it with our stomach fully empty. So, sometimes it was very challenging, especially when I was with others and it is dinner time but I realise I havent done the second round of Shambhavi yet! Well, in situations like this, I requested people to start and I would finish it in any available space and then join the dinner.I have faced lot of opposition from some people when I was giving this practice so much importance. Now I do once a day which is very comfortable.
My awareness about food increased and I choose foods that are healthier to the body most times.
Soon after the course, I felt I need some more of it. I was able to absorb Sadhguru's teachings and relate them with my life and it was making me able to understand and feel free and relieved within me. Every teardrop was making me free from the bondage of the worldly problems which I loved to cling to otherwise. I have become free from many kinds of fears, mental conditions. The more I get rid of conditioning, more I see them appearing time to time in different situations. It is only because of IE, I understood how to identify these. In IE class, Sadhguru teaches us 3-4 teachings. Very simple, just 4. No spiritual complications or confusions.
Voluteering:
I volunteered in the next 2 courses with huge passion. On 2nd course, I shared my experience as a volunteer. A Swami (Swami Bhuthamsha) who was present there as a Teacher, suggested me to attend a course called Bhava Spandana (BSP) which happens at IYC at Coimbatore. I knew it, I had applied to it and I also got an email from them saying there is no seat available. Swami called the Ashram through Mylapore center and got a seat for me. What a grace! It was all a miracle. (It was a miracle for me because after going to the Ashram, I met few girls who were waiting for a seat for last 6 months staying at the Ashram and I got it so effortlessly!)
I was at the Ashram 2 days earlier. I volunteered at Dhyanalinga which seemed like a miracle to me. It was. Next day, we surrendered our valuables including phone and entered the super huge Auditorium for Bhava Spandana. As I entered, I felt that I was leaving behind so much of baggage behind and I will never be the same person anymore. 3.5 days of intense processes and experience triggered things within me which I knew will work within me all life.
Linga Bhairavi Temple:
The dip in the holy waters had some intense effect in my body. I observed closely how I felt, when I closed my eyes, I could sense as if 1000s of devotees inside me are screaming God's name with highest intensity. At the Linga Bhairavi, I felt connected with the Goddess so immediately. and I feel the same connection with any Devi's form I see anywhere else too, also within me. Many many times, when I see women, I feel them as the same Devi. I also noticed that this is all happening without my effort.
Wedding at Devi temple:
One of the participants at Bhava Spandana was getting married the next morning. I was eager to be present and witness the marriage. I was very happy for the girl because that was exactly what she wanted and the boy she chose was so much in love with her (They were friends for 2 years and both of them are from a different country) 6 AM, the wedding began. It was all short, sweet and silent. The bride lit 100 lamps and the Groom arranged the lamps on the wall of the temple while other people were chanting Devi's 33 names. Soon after, there was an exchange of garland and tying of the sacred thread.... and we enjoyed the photo session too :-)
After leaving the Ashram, I felt every one as a part of me and worth a selfie. :-)
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